Terrence's Questions (5)

I noticed there’s a calm trope in media “The abuser isn’t that bad trope” it’s in a ton of anime and manga. Where a character is abused by a parent or sibling but the trauma of the victim is just used as angst as to why a character acts a certain way and nothing more. Just for the story to then focus on their abuser and give them a sort of redemption arc.


There’s many forms of this whether it be a parent, bulky, or love interest. Characters (usually men) show unforgivable abusive behavior just for the story to go out of its way to validate their violent behavior with a “jerk with a heart of gold mindset”

Anyone know any bls without rape or a toxic relationship? All the ones with clout suck

You see...I don’t think people who read BL are bad at all. The genre started in more conservative countries because straight women weren’t expected to consume normal porn without being sex crazed. BL was the excepted alternative. This caused a shift. Drawings portraying gay men were now primarily targeted and made for straight women.

But it’s obvious to me that over the years because of BL’s target demographic a lot of the content are mlm fetishization. No one wants to discuss this but it’s a trend I’m seeing often and it’s bothering me. Here’s why I hold this opinion.

#1 Think of lesbian lesbian porn. Though the fetishization of lesbian sex has been a trend since prehistoric times bc of the male gaze, it’s obvious why a lot of lesbians themselves hate the porn made “for” them. The women in gage in unrealistic positions, are often femme when lesbians present in all kinds of ways. And it’s obvious it’s made or a straight mans viewing.

This is also mocked in patterns I see in BL. Bottoms are written as stand in for a female reader and are often feminized to an unrealistic standard. Blushing, height difference etc. But it’s even more apparent in other things like the bottoms dressing in skits and dresses, omegaverse plots revolving around their pregnancies (with bottoms of course being called MOMMY) and usually younger then there “top” “dominant” partner Etc.

And the tops are always hyper masculine. Rich, hot, large penis, remarkable in every way. They are also often allowed to show terrible behavior such as rape, abuse, and horrible morals just because they are hot and “have a bad past” this mimics the trend in real life. People will jumpy through hoops to defend men instead of holding them accountable. And also tops are often always written as dominant individuals. They don’t show to much of a rang of emotions, don’t cry, bottle things in and lashing out on those around them.

Am I saying all BLS fallow this trend? No! But most do..I’d say 80% and that’s an astronomical amount considering how many BLS are published a year. And ofc I’m not the only the person who noticed this trend. Lots of gay men have forward themselves saying they hate the genre bc of the things listed above.

What makes this most angering to me is the rape and abuse I see in SOOOO MUCCCCHHHH BLS . I’ve picked up and dropped reading BL as a genre bc I find rape extremely triggering as a sexual assault victim myself. It’s used as a plot device, not serving to give the character conflict to slowly work through over an arch, HA it’s not even addressed as rape most of the time! It’s treated like some minuscule unfortunate event “aww that’s sad” no, rape is not sad. It is a sickening life altering event that can take years of therapy to even move past. How can people not grasp the severity of R A P E.

Y E S a partner saying “no, stop, slowdown! Wait” and the other partner refusing is rape! A boundary was set and ignored! Unless there’s a scene elaborating on safe words will those previous terms not mean stop. The fact this is EXTREMELY common in BLs is disheartening. Men are already invalidated when coming forward with sexual assault allegations. Not only that there’s a frighteningly large percentage of BLS where rape is done by the “top” and then nothing is done! Nothing! We’re lucky if it’s even treated as bad. I have yet to see a well written element of sexual assault I’m and BL ever where the characters gets justice through jail or therapy or..he’ll even saying the word “you raped me, that was wrong” period point black. (feel free to recommend some)

There’s another layer of nuance I want to unpack here. The misogyny. You see BL is written and marketed toward girls on a very large scale. And more often than not “bottoms” are stand in for female readers so you can see in feminizing bottoms it’s an easy scapegoat for sexism. Bottoms are references as weak, incapable of saying no, setting boundaries, or being as intelligent to their. “Top” “masculine” counter part.

Also I’m use if BL as an umbrella term. I know Manga, Manhwas, Manhuas...etc are completely different from different regions.

That being said they do draw common similarities in trends that are congruent with that of the east. It is no secret a lot of eastern countries have cultures that highly value education and success. And it’s also no secret there are customers of respecting elders. There’s is also a trend of extreme bullying. The topic of bullying is not seen there in the same way it may be in other regions. There is widespread suicide bc the bullying epidemic is so severe. Though young people, there protest for stricter laws, more intervention from teachers etc. not much has changed. Beatings, isolation, and rape aren’t extremely rare. This can be seen in how A LOT of illustrated works taking place in high school have the topic of bullying.

In the east “specifically China, Korea, Japan, Taiwan etc” there are more cultural practices of conservatism and a lot and I mean A LOT so sexism. The rape culture and statistics of domestic abuse in these places is are also horrendous.

TO BE CLEAR this is not to villianize eastern cultures. That is not at all my intent. Xenophobia is already too allowed and widespread for me to even think of doing so. I am simply pointing out these things that take place in these places.

MY POINT for sexual assault and domestic violence to be so common in these places only to be mimicked in BL that gets BILLIONS of views each year, is disturbing. You cannot tell me this is a coincidence. Especially since it’s marketed toward women.


This is not me encouraging people to not read BL but I think we need to examine how problematic it is to give works with rape and abuse promoted as romance profit because it can and does hurt people. And I do acknowledge these things can been seen in hetero works of manga, mahuas etc. that’s just not what I’m talking about rn.

There a plenty of mlm mangas that show healthy, non toxic relationships with clear communication of consent during sex and great characters no fetishized for being gay.

This is just me ranting and my opinion. I’m so passionate because I love eastern works of art like anime and manga. That’s is all.

I haven’t been able to get into any bl for a while because I hate most of the tropes shown. There’s too much rape and abuse. YES the bottom saying “Ah! Stop!” And the top keeps going is rape. YES having sex with someone so drunk they can’t remember the next day is rape. YES the top getting mad at being rejected and forcing themself onto the bottom only to “come to their senses” and let them go because they see the bottom crying is STILL SEXUAL ASSAULT. BL is written mostly by and for women, it’s just a fact. The amount of women who read it outnumbers the men 10/1 that being said women always claim not to be fetishizing. Is reading explicit rape and abuse romances not fetishization? Is the bottom being a clear stand in for a woman personality and body wise not fetishization? Anyways I’m done my rant I’m not saying your a bad person for reading BL but people need to be more outraged when they see rape and abuse in gay romance instead of finding it hot. I’ve been searching everywhere but I’ve run out of wholesome BL (it can have sex but not at all a requirement) with a good well written romance and neither male character with feminine traits to stand in for a woman reader? Any recommendations? For example “Cherry Blossoms after Winter” “Here You Are” and “The New Employee” are good examples of things I like.

I love reincarnation manga but I think I’ve read them all! Anyone know of a wholesome full color story with a child being adopted by a cold father figure? Like “I suddenly became a Princess one day” or “The Monster duches and contract Princess”