lilithespark's Topics (414)

Where did u read the novel?? ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Yeahh better read the novel first them come back here just to see them adapted ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄

i read it a few years ago coming from novel updates :p but the site i originally read them got taken down or something so I can’t find it anymore. i think someone new is translating the old chapters tho. the novel title is “nurturing the hero to avoid death”

yeah absolutely don’t read this manga as a stand alone or you’ll get rly lost haha

i think if u search it up, u can find an aggregator who stole the OG translator’s chapters so they still exist that way lol

anyone know if it's been officially translated in to english yet?

there r only fan translations as of now as far as I’m aware of

The translations unfortunately get taken down regularly, especially when people spread the site names around. Translators get warnings and sometimes get sued

Sounds about right yea

plus he regrets the thought like a split second after thinking it… c’mon now guys. yall think character growth is so linear huh

Because it's a pretty vile thought to have? Even for someone who is in his first serious relationship? You mean to tell me we're supposed to be sympathetic instead towards this guy thinking about cheating after he has repeatedly declared how much he loves his boyfriend, has moved in with said boyfriend, has revealed their relationship to said boyfriend's mother, AND has expressed insane jealousy over the boyfriend making friends with their neighbor, because he can't stand the thought of said boyfriend being with anyone else (cough cough oh the irony cough cough)?

Yeah... we've seen the non-linear character growth happen across these 80 chapters already, from both sides, but at some point, there's an expectation that cheating would leave Kaji's brain. I guess we're the fools for thinking like that, huh?

Period gurl, I stand with this opinion.

people here really dont understand unhealthy coping mechanisms and how when under stress you can so easily slip into them. people here are acting like he killed a puppy, but i bet they all have unhealthy ways of dealing with things themselves. some of ya'll need to look in a mirror. the author is fleshing out his character, trying to show how, yes he thought it but then he instantly thought of his boyfriend and how wrong that thought was. it was to show his growth and how hes changed and everyones got the torches out and ready to storm the castle. children, nothing but children.

I completely disagree with this opinion because it fundamentally minimizes the emotional trauma of betrayal. Calling people "children" for being outraged is a dismissive excuse that ignores a painful reality. The moment you view cheating as a valid coping mechanism to escape stress, you have already emotionally violated your relationship. Also loyalty is not a last second calculation where you get a price just for remembering your partner exists before crossing the line. It is genuinely sickening to watch someone default to the idea of breaking their partner’s heart and trust they built for each others, and the community has every right to feel repulsed by that lack of core integrity. The true growth means your partner is your safe comfort zone under pressure, not an afterthought you almost discard the moment life gets difficult.

but he already had this coping mechanism, you seem to not understand that he is breaking his way of thinking for the man he loves. hes changing how he used to be, hes bettering himself. and he didnt cheat, he had a thought for like a second cause he slipped into old ways of coping and if you and no one else can see that then yes, you all have no life experience and so i called you all children. you cant recognize that he is trying, no one is perfect, people slip, they fail, but if they never do the act and catch themselves then they are in fact doing better than they were. people grow, people change, let the author show that he is evolving.

im not telling you to be sympathetic at all, just understanding lol. also, he regrets it the moment he thinks the though, which i think is a better example of him growing as a character. he catches himself when he thinks abt slipping into his old ways, and he doesn’t even act on it at all. I think expecting his playboy past to completely leave his brain is unrealistic, considering how ingrained it used to be in his old lifestyle ╮(￣▽￣)╭

yes... that's the point of intrusive thoughts... they're vile but don't define a person unless the person acts on them. do you not use your brain?

I use my brain just fine, and it tells me that after 80 chapters, after everything these characters have been through, it's an insane thing to insert into the plot to have Kaji think about a one-night stand. Kaji and Fukami are living together at this point; they wake up together and fall asleep together. When you're that deeply ingrained with another person, you shouldn't just be able to vacate them from your mind at a moment of hardship in order to consider having sex with someone else to relieve stress. Maybe if this was him in chapter 40, but at this point? Nah. Kaji could've thought about literally anything else in that moment, but sleeping with someone else??

But hey, since it was no big deal and just an intrusive thought, I wonder why he didn't just tell Fukami that he thought about sleeping with someone else when he came to support him. It doesn't define him, after all. Fukami should've been able to understand, right?

having a thought isnt a crime and we dont live in a dystopian society. no one has to tell anyone about a fleeting thought they had that they corrected. this is insanity.

Never said it was a crime, but when we read stories like these, we are deliberately given access to characters' inner thoughts in order to help us form our opinion of them. Or do you actually believe we can only base our judgment of any story character on what they say out loud? If that's what you think, you do you, I guess, but I look at the internal dialogue as well, and if this is what their inner dialogue reveals, well, I'm well within my right to retract the fondness I had built for that character over the past 79 chapters.

you're literally acting as if he cheated. think of it this way, if you will indulge me. say someone has intrusive thoughts or unhealthy coping mechanisms. and they havent done it for a while, they've been really working on being a better person but one day due to stress they think about doing what used to help them deal with the stress and what came normally to them but they catch themselves and correct. do they then have to go tell everyone and they momma that they had those thoughts? now before you say "therapist" lets pretend they cant afford one. they self regulated, they're doing better, being better than they once were. why would they need to tell anyone? that just creates more problems of explaining and the other person getting confused and starting to worry about something that didnt happen and was taken care of in the moment. not everything you think has to be judged or criticized, not even in a manga. but if you cant accept that a character can change and do better or that they slip just once into old habits, maybe this aint the story for you since going forward you will be sitting at your screen screaming that hes a cheater and will cheat cause you have already made up your mind that that was his intention with a literal fleeting thought. so again, to you, it is a thought crime. how dare someone deal with their mental health and self regulate, the sheer audacity!

The difference in a coping mechanism when it comes to unhealthy habits such as, say, alcoholism or smoking, is that they affect only the person who is partaking in those habits. If you're ten years into sobriety and at the end of a hard day think "Man, I really want to go out for a drink right now," the only thing you're disregarding in that moment, however briefly you do it, is yourself. However, when you're in a relationship and you think about sleeping with someone else, that reframes the entire dynamic, because now you're no longer disregarding yourself and your own journey, but also your partner and the entire relationship. In order to be able to think about sleeping with someone else, ESPECIALLY when you're at a stage in your relationship when you're living together, you have to be able to mentally disengage yourself from the person that otherwise takes up such a huge part of your daily life. If your argument (and the story's argument) is that this is Kaji's coping mechanism 80 chapters into the story, to mentally disengage from his relationship with Fukami, then my point stands; I don't like the character he is anymore.

Also, the reason why I suggested Kaji should have told Fukami about his intrusive thoughts is not because I want him to "confess his thought crime," but because surely, he would want to work on himself to ensure such a thing doesn't happen again. Do you think that's something he should do alone? Do you think it's healthy for him to continue having intrusive thoughts along the line of "I should go have a one-night stand" and hide them from Fukami, all the while feeling increasingly freaked out about his (apparently) inescapable coping mechanisms?

On the flip side, do you think it's fair for Fukami to be with someone whose default method of coping is to completely disregard their relationship and think about going to saunas and finding a one-night stand? Or do you think it's all right and dandy, because "what he doesn't know won't kill him"?

i honestly think another person does not need to be brought into this cause then you bring in a whole other set of thoughts and insecurities. fukami wont know if hes telling the truth a half truth, already cheated on him, has someone picked out, is tired of him. no one needs another person to come in and try to pick apart what this intrusive thought really meant. not all thoughts need to be talked about unless it really will be harmful and the person having them actually needs help to regulate themselves. kaji already dealt with it the second he realized what he said. and again, that is growth, that is change. and he didnt disconnect his feelings for fukami he simply slipped into his old ways, that did not just show up in chapter 80 out of nowhere. the man would grade his partners, he wouldent have actual relationships with people, these are not the actions of a person who has their life all together and is in a healthy mental place. but he wants to be with fukami and has worked hard to be a better man and the man fukami deserves. the fact he was all "no, no cheating. why would you think that when you have fukami" tells me hes changed and can be trusted in this relationship. he knows he has faults, he knows he slipped mentally in a second of weakness but he corrected. so yeah, i dont think fukami needs to know anything cause nothing happened. thoughts are not crimes and its also not a crime to not tell your partner every single thing that happens in your head. they need to know actual things that happened. if he actually cheated, he needs to tell. but this? no. if someone is out on a date with their partner and they see someone attractive and think "oh they're attractive" and yet go on with the meal, does the partner need to know? you can think something and its fine as long as you dont act or realize its too much and stop it. i love the growth that kaji has worked so hard for. so again i say, maybe its time to hang it up, you obviously hate him now for an instant of weakness because the author wants to show hes human, makes mistakes, fixes them. good luck on whatever it is that makes you so lazer focused on turning thoughts into crimes i guess. just really glad its not our reality, yet.

Me, repeatedly: I don't like the turn this took for Kaji.
You: Wooooow, you're so obsessed and you clearly HATE him, good luck with all the HATE you have in your life, woooow.

Bruh.

Also no, seeing someone and thinking, "oh they're attractive" is not at all the same, but seeing someone and thinking, "wow they're attractive, I want to have a one-night stand with them"? Spot the difference. I know it's tricky, but I know you can do it!

And yes, I also loved the growth Kaji had gone through. I would've loved this growth as well, had it occurred around chapter 40, when he was actually still getting used to being in a relationship. When his old lifestyle was something he had fairly recently given up. But absolutely not at this point, for reasons I've already clarified ad nauseam. This absolutely showed up out of nowhere. When was the last time he thought about hooking up? About sleeping around? Did it even come up when he got jealous of their neighbor? Did he, at that moment, even think, "wow I can't believe I, Kaji, who used to sleep around, got jealous of my devoted boyfriend"? Yes, he used to be promiscuous, but when, during his entire relationship with Fukami, has he ever thought about doing that?

So, as you say, he "simply slipped into his old ways"? Yeah, that's exactly my point; if he can do that after all this time, when he's so deeply involved with Fukami that they're in love and living together, then he's just not a character I want to root for anymore. That's literally it. I don't HATE him, I don't go around cursing his name. He's just not a character I like anymore, which is unfortunate, because I did like this story up until now.

did you read the recent chapters? kaji was in a dark headspace feeling lonely and unsupported as he deals with a family crisis. it didn’t show up out of nowhere because we know he used to use casual sex as a way to cope with those feelings. the intrusive thought is just a callback to the old kaji he was before, and he didn’t actually consider cheating on Fukami. he calls fukami after the fact because he’s not that same man he used to be, he has someone who genuinely cares abt him and loves him and he doesn’t need to sleep around anymore. and he never even saw anyone and actively thought he wanted to sleep with them lol. he was just looking for an outlet and it could’ve been any random stranger. it was a THOUGHT he had for one second that he immediately regretted . you don’t have to love him for thinking that but it just proves he’s human like other commenters said

you literally can't even grasp the concept of an intrusive thought, don't act like you know things lol

"Intrusive thoughts are UNWANTED, INVOLUNTARY images or ideas that pop into your mind."

guess i should go in prison whenever i look at a knife and an intrusive thought of using it to stab someone pops in and causes ME distress and i haven't actually done anything or have NEVER had a history of physically harming someone else