Stay Up Too Late Reading Yaoi

This whole post is more like venting.

I just wanted to ask why people comment down/think "It's a shounen ai, it's a shounen ai" or like "Sadly it's a shounen ai" on shounen ai stories. I mean yeah, I get you want more than just kisses and holding hands, having explicit scenes is nice. Some people are complaining (or not) about the story for being shounen ai. I mostly see this happening on manhua/Chinese stories, I'm assuming that people don't know about the heavy censorship in China. I've seen manhua where a kiss would be blocked by something - can't see the lips touching.
But anyways my main point is what's the point of thinking like that? Sexual tension is shooting through the roof? Sure, it really is like that. Just remain there, it's unnecessary to be like, "It's a shounen ai TT". I find it tiring to read lines like that after many times. I know I can just not look at comments but no thanks.
This is more BL in general. "Tops" and "bottoms"; seme and uke. As much as I like a distinct top and bottom, in some stories that is just irrelevant or hard to define who is what. Even switches, I feel that people forget the possibility of a character being a switch but they are a lot less common compared to top and bottom. So uh, I sometimes find it annoying to see people ask who is seme and uke but that's only for certain stories, majority of the time I don't give a shit and I just think we should care less about who is the top and bottom.

In general, I feel mixed feelings about BL and things the fandom does.
If you have any, what are your thoughts on these two topics?

i am so scared of people guilt tripping me, i've already experienced it when I was being groomed by a pedo. it's awful and i wish for no one to experience such a thing

But i'm also really scared of people thinking i'm guilt tripping them, or me actually guilt tripping without knowing. idk how to express my genuine sadness without sounding like a guilt-tripper. it usually happens after i experience critisism, i'm super sensitive and emotional, one once of critisism can shatter me to pieces. "i'm crying because of you" or "you're the reason i'm feeling bad" are things i might say or not depending or whether or not i want to continue engaging with the person. it could all be interpreted as guilt-tripping. but how do i draw a line? i don't want to guilt trip. how do i avoid doing it?