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that you can’t just open up whenever THEY are ready to hear it, but at random times when the right words come to mind.

So my mom tried to get me to finally open up to her. I kid you not, the entire conversation was just her giving me advice and me crying every few minutes. She kind of just grabbed my arm, led me to a room, and sat me down. And I wasn’t ready to tell her because SHE is part of my problem. I don’t want to tell her that I cry at every inconvenience because she scolded me for it all through growing up. I don’t want to tell her that I’ve got daddy issues because my dad’s got fucking anger issues and it was emotionally traumatizing as a kid. I want to tell her that when I am ready too. But how do I do that.

And despite all the great advice and nice things she told me, all I could focus on was the fact that she called me ungrateful at one point. But she said in such a sweet voice so now I’m feeling conflicted.

Thanks for listening.