I was just thinking why some don't clean their ass in stories like does your ass not have shit tf??
Now this is more of s3x in general but why do they fck while the other is sick won't that make it worse???
But then again this is all fiction so idrc lol 4 reply
Sizt it's better if you used quotation marks to signal the dialogues cause sometimes it's hard to differentiate if it's a dialogue or not.(▰˘◡˘▰)
Another thing is to pipe down some of the terminologies.
Like using a complicated word for something meant to be simple
( Hemoglobin -> blood )
Like it's too technical in the setting of the sto...... reply
I read it a bit fast but it seemed good. What I would say is that descriptions are a bit too much. Sometimes there are too much details, you don't let the reader interpret the description. But overall, it was nice to read. reply
Maybe try to quote what they say?
"I'm okay, she lied. She didn't feel comfortable telling this stranger she was scared. Thank you Nikko.
-Nikki! she corrected her. Call me Nikki."
Into:
"I'm okay." She lied, not feeling comfortable telling the stranger that she was scared. "Thank you Nikko."
"Nikki. " The girl corrected her, "Call me Nikki!" ...... reply
