Being Helpful

I'm serious this isn't a joke so if you don't want to take it seriously or can't understand where I'm coming from please don't reply

but anyways I'm a woman but lately I've been feeling completely uncomfortable being one I feel so out of place but I've noticed that when I pretend to be a guy I feel 1000x more comfortable with myself and I'm more so to say open and the social anxiety basically just disappears I've always been like this it's not a recent thing but I have just recently started learning like a few years ago about transitioning and everything like that and I've also noticed that other women don't feel the way I do constantly

Like for instance I was playing a game with a mic and got called a guy and just a rush of relief came over me? But then when my brother corrected the person I felt tense again but there are other times when I don't want to be called a guy and I want to be called by she/her but then other times he/him is so much more appealing

But I also feel like I'm just being affected by what I see online when people are so happy to transition or come out in general and I hate feeling like maybe these feelings or thoughts are just coming from that and they aren't real and I just don't know anymore

I could never pass for a guy anyways (I'm not saying that's bad or anything it's okay) I just don't feel comfortable anymore with myself I mean I never really have to begin with but it's just gotten worse

If you have any type of advice it would be really nice to hear it.. also I know this isn't the place to ask but I can't really ask anywhere else