Crippling Anxiety

idk if i can talk about this here but I kinda of want to see the opinion of ya'll. So, my mom recently discovered that I was on my cell late even after she sent me to sleep, and she now takes my cell phone at night so I don't use it (she isn't wrong doing this tbh). But now I feel an inexplicable despair at night, my heart is racing and I start to cry having bad thoughts about the future and that I am not enjoying my life and a irrational fear of dying?? And bcuz of that I can't sleep. I thought it was okay if it was only at night, and that I just needed to endure it. But now I'm feeling that way in the morning too, I absolutely hate to feel this way. I related this to anxiety, I guess, but I wanted to know if it would be better for me to ask my mother for therapy, but I'm afraid I'm just exaggerating? I have no one to talk to about it. When I slept at dawn while using my cell phone, I was only sleepying when I am so tired to the point of just lying down and sleeping, without thinking about anything else. And the cell also distracted me. And I totally don't know how to ask for therapy either.

(Context: I feel that way for about 5 years, but this is the first time it's so bad, so- ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶)

Be the first to send a text without being scared? How do people start and keep conversations going? I have selective mutism so this whole talking to people both physically and through text is hard, especially if it's someone I want to know more about. There's this guy I've been texting off and on the past few years. Our conversations never go past asking each other how we're doing. I don't know what to say next and I guess he doesn't either. He usually texts me first. But I want to do it first this time. I want to ask him how his day has been. I know he won't be upset about it or, as my mom used to tell me, bite my head off. It's a simple question I know he will answer. It's just a text. It isn't like I'm calling him. I want him to know that I am interested in him but I'm scared and I hate that. How do people do this?

Ps: I was scared to post this but my cats convinced me to just do it lol.