03 07,2020
03 07,2020
Is something wrong with me...?
[Question]
03 07,2020
So, I'm weird. I've figured that out. But,... These days, I've been thinking I'm worse than that. So, let's list all the "irregular" things I do. Just making sure I'm normal.
1. I rock myself to sleep every night. I have insomnia, so I often just lay in bed, eyes wide open, just... thinking. One time, my sister said she was watching me for some time and I didn't even blink once. She called me a "creep". My mother asked me if I'm mental when she saw me rocking myself. That's when I knew normal people don't do that.
2. I have violent thoughts. We just recently got a puppy, and I think it's so cute... I just want to choke it ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ No, seriously. I want to choke it. I actually choked our older dog one day, without even realizing. All I heard was a "KACK-" then I snapped back to my senses. I think about hurting people, too, but I haven't done that yet.
3. I talk to myself, A LOT. When I was in school, I didn't notice it, but people actually gave me that look like "What the fuck is wrong with her...?" I saw someone look at me like that once, so I decided to pay more attention to my surroundings for a week... turns out, that happened pretty often. Ah, but I don't talk to myself that much in public. The looks were probably cause I just burst into laughter for no reason apparent reason... I'm just so funny (≧∀≦) when I give myself a joke, I can't help but laugh! It must look weird to onlookers... plus, I laugh when I'm angry. I don't know why. I could even force myself to cry... I do that all the time to get my sister in trouble. I don't know the last time I genuinely cried.
There's a lot more, but this is already way too long.
I tried googleing what might be wrong with me mentally, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a psychopath.
1. I rock myself to sleep every night. I have insomnia, so I often just lay in bed, eyes wide open, just... thinking. One time, my sister said she was watching me for some time and I didn't even blink once. She called me a "creep". My mother asked me if I'm mental when she saw me rocking myself. That's when I knew normal people don't do that.
2. I have violent thoughts. We just recently got a puppy, and I think it's so cute... I just want to choke it ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ No, seriously. I want to choke it. I actually choked our older dog one day, without even realizing. All I heard was a "KACK-" then I snapped back to my senses. I think about hurting people, too, but I haven't done that yet.
3. I talk to myself, A LOT. When I was in school, I didn't notice it, but people actually gave me that look like "What the fuck is wrong with her...?" I saw someone look at me like that once, so I decided to pay more attention to my surroundings for a week... turns out, that happened pretty often. Ah, but I don't talk to myself that much in public. The looks were probably cause I just burst into laughter for no reason apparent reason... I'm just so funny (≧∀≦) when I give myself a joke, I can't help but laugh! It must look weird to onlookers... plus, I laugh when I'm angry. I don't know why. I could even force myself to cry... I do that all the time to get my sister in trouble. I don't know the last time I genuinely cried.
There's a lot more, but this is already way too long.
I tried googleing what might be wrong with me mentally, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a psychopath.
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