All questions about vent

i usually dont do this but im actually devastated and overwhelmed

my online partner of 10 years now may have possibly died and i dont know

they have a brain aneurysm that was rupturing when they texted me about being in the hospital

the mortality rate of it is so high

i never got to meet them irl
i never got to hug them, kiss them, touch them
i never got to tell them i love them face to face
i never got to go on a cheesy date, never be the annoying pda couple, never got to cuddle, never got to propose or get married

i just hope they are tuckered out and sleeping
i dont want to believe that theyre dead
i have no way of knowing too

i want to throw up
i don't want this to be real
i wanted to grow old with them, i wanted to do so many things with them

i dont know what i'll do without them
i've been living the past few years with the goal of seeing them
i think i'll go through with death if i cant see them
it's pointless now, no one will love and understand me as much as they do
i'll never experience this love... they were my soulmate...

im so stupid

look, I liked this guy right? we go to the same sport and last year i was his bestfriend but we both liked eachother. i confessed, he confessed , then we argued out of nowhere and just never resolved shit. i swear im trying so hard to get over him, but a few days ago i offficially told him i didnt wanna be his friend anymore . AND LISTEN BEFORE YALL SAY IM INSANE, literally he used to leave me on read / delivered for hours on end, if not days. he also had 100000000000 other fuckass " bestfriends" and said the same shit to all of us. and a few weeks before christmas i still saw him as my good friend, until i heard from someone else that he fucking shouted out loud " i prefer my other bsf over mina" that girls name is bryannah idfk that im saying her name, she fucking said she hates me for absolutely no reason at all, told the guy i was toxic, calls my friends pigs, fatties, loners and so on. i KNOW shes the bad influence on him, but to be honest i dont even wanna care anymore cause if he wants to fuck up his own life that badly, go for it. also, every single time i talked to him about how i felt ( venting ) and he always turned it into a whole sad anime backstory for himself. anyways , back to the point. how do i just stop thinking about him and get over him? literally i have tried absolutely EVERYTHING to stop thinking about him. ┗( T﹏T )┛

i got busier irl and plan to stop uploading but was hesitated bcs i have quite a lot of series that i upload here and on other sites, so it will be unfair for my readers if i just leave those unfinished. but this user with the @ pipo pipo or wtv shit they are is my last straw and i’ll mass delete all of my uploads after this.


apparently this user leave comments on every of my uploads for me to stop uploading, begging me to stop already bcs i “waste people’s time with these short chapters/“late” updates”. in big 2025 and almost jump to 2026, people still don’t know how official site (c00lmic) works so i’ll leave a short explanation of how c00lmic works and why did i upload from them;

1. c00lmic cut off these chapters, splits 1 full vol/chapter into 3 parts and this is normal. goldenkoo didn’t do this.

2. c00lmic usually dragged update time, there’s an ET for next update but it’s usually after 1~3 months for 1-3 new chapters to drop. goldenkoo didn’t gatekeep any shit and just upload whenever it drops.

3. c00lmic got a lot of exclusive mangas that are not available on other sites so if you see goldenkoo uploaded those before, yes most of them are exclusive.

4. goldenkoo hate low quality stuff and shitty translations. c00lmic chapters are HD+++++ and i have the right tools to perfectly rip it so that it won’t ruin any quality. other sites are not compatible with my tools and usually hard to rip/risky to pirated it bcs of their security.

5. goldenkoo will only upload “existed” mangas (e.g old uploads are full chapters from Rent@ and i uploaded short chapters from c00lmic) based on three cases; old uploaders didn’t finished it + bad quality OR there’s only fan translations entry available, no official yet OR new official chapters are uncensored and old official uploads were censored. now that’s when goldenkoo will upload chapters from c00lmic, i don’t just blindly upload stuff from c00lmic without any sense.

so i genuinely dk why is it most people here attacked me all the time for those short chapters when mangas from c00lmic has been here for years, it’s not a new norm new trend new anything istg it’s been here for years.

i readily spent my money and share it for free, i didn’t gatekeep any single chapters. i even gave other translators my OG files for them to retranslate whenever they ask for perms, for fucking free as well; i didn’t even let them take it from my uploads bcs it might downgrade the quality of those chapters so i gave the OG zip files, right from the official sources. i literally got no problem sharing anything that i paid.

other uploaders also upload mangas from the same official sites as mine including big uploaders, like they upload wayyy before me and way more but it seems like none of them got harassed this bad, everyone seem chill as fuck whenever they upload short chapters and always treat them like some gods which idc you do you but why the fuck would i got literal harassed by these same freaks?

i got lot of fucking dms almost every fucking week full with people asking me why the fuck would i purposely cut off chapters and update only after months, why didn’t i upload faster etc like genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you people? my topics here literally got random ass people asking me like “hey why do you keep uploading short chapters”, multiple time so honest to fucking god, why are you guys like this?

it’s literally not just me alone who upload mangas from c00lmic so why the hell would you guys keep harassing me for this, right when i plan to stop uploading as well and retired?

like i’m done, truly. i stupidly spent hundreds of dollars buying those chapters but i have to deal with harassment and literal people begging me to stop uploading without even bother to ask me first if they’re that foreign with the concept of how official sites work. so thanks a fucking lot.

i’ll be deleting every single one of them so pls be patient, you won’t see those chapters again. but don’t even try to steal my paid chapters from other sites and reupload them here, don’t be that fucking shameless. if you want to upload or take over my series then go buy those chapters yourself on official c00lmic site or find the official sources yourself.

i put a lot of layered watermarks on every of my uploads so i can fucking tell what’s mine, if i found out anyone stole it and reupload after i take all chapters down i’ll mass report you idfc.

to that user who keeps harassing me, telling me to stop uploading everywhere and said i’m the worst uploader ever; i hope you have the worst day on your life for ruining my efforts in sharing my uploads here. i genuinely never encountered such a bad manner and entitled readers like from this site, literally never. you people who harassed me are genuinely weird i hope you’re proud of yourself for driving me out and gave up.

we're finally on the brink of a new year, 2024 has been a wild year to say in the least. now let us close the final chapters of our current selves in 2024 by LETTING OUT YOUR BIGGEST REGRET OF THE YEARRR

MINE IS LETTING THAT FUCKING HAIRDRESSER COMMIT A HATE CRIME AGAINST MY HAIR AS A PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HAIRCUT. FUCK THIS HAIRCUT, FUCK THAT HAIRDRESSER.

So I just read your wish is my command make me bark and stronger than friends Jesus Christ how did I not die of secondhand embarrassment?!

A few months from now I’ll be second year in college. Still unsure of whether this is the path for me or if I’ll change my mind last minute. Mind you, this is my Parent’s choice... which sucks. But fir now I don’t really mind it? The future scares the sht outta me,

idk how bitch tell me, my mom been advising me to sleep early but she herself don't even sleep early so i was mad but still i gotta keep an angel appearance for her because i don't wanna add fuel to the fire. so i tried couple ways to sleep 1. stay up all day and pretend to sleep so at night you can sleep early but i was bored when i pretend to sleep that i sucked my own finger so yeah i hate it 2. i forgot




p.s please send help

none of the pics are loading and I'm not sure if its only on my side :(

I'm an introvert and it's really really hard for me to even interact with people including my own family. We had a family gathering today and when I saw my siblings and parents talking with our cousins and aunts and uncles, I felt really left out because I was just there standing, and when my uncle approached me and asked me how I was doing, I just replied "yeah I'm doing ok" and that was my only interaction with a family member the whole gathering aside from my sister. So I really wanna change and try to improve in socializing please help me.

I feel like a lot of the “heterophobia is real” people (I know not all of them) have that opinion partly because they’ve never been part of an outsider group they’ve always (or mostly) been the default:

Cisgender and heterosexual. They have always lived under the an identity that people assume you’d fall under. Trans/gay/trans people have always been labeled. There was a point in time where cishets decided they were “normal” and we weren’t.

I think a lot of the people who think heterophobia is real have never had their identities discussed before. You always considered yourself “normal” and never thought otherwise. And now they have to address themselves as heterosexual and cisgender and think about what that means. Now minorities knows what that feels like. I’ve been labeled as a “Jew” “pansexual” “trans” (and god knows I’m not the most outsider/oppressed/labeled person in the queer community) for most of my life (except it took me longer to figure out I was trans) I’ve always known that I was considered “outsider” “abnormal” by society, so labels don’t really scare me. For cishets now their identities are being publicly analyzed and that can make people uncomfortable. Especially if it’s the first time that’s ever happened.


And we’ve had this conversation before about basically every minority. A minority complains about the oppressor and the oppressor/oppressing class(or group) takes it as an attack on them and not their behavior. For example that quote from Samuels Memory (about the trail of tears): (idk why but this is the first one that comes to mind)

“I know what it is to hate. I hate those white soldiers who took us from our home. I hate the soldiers who make us keep walking through the snow and ice toward this new home that none of us ever wanted. I hate the people who killed my father and mother.
I hate the white people who lined the road in their woolen clothes that kept them warm, watching us pass. None of those white people are here to say they are sorry that I am alone. None of them care about my people or me. All they ever saw was the color of our skin. All I see is the color of theirs and I hate them.”

Now I can take that as “oh so you hate all white people rEvErSe RaCiSm” OR I can hear what hes actually trying to say “I hate what you did to me”.

It’s the same thing with words like straggot. If you happen to look up the definition of straggot on urban dictionary you’d find “ A straight person who does or is one or more of the following: rape jokes, says the n word, sexualizes everything”

It’s never been about hating all straight people. It’s a criticism of behavior. And if you ask a person who uses the word that’s typically what they’d say.

It gets to a point where I feel like a lot of the people who complain about heterophobia (the leaders of these conversations/big Internet personalities/ politicak personalities) are purposefully ignoring everything that shows it doesn’t exist. Latching onto words like “straggot” without looking into them. And I find that interesting because

You wonder what the purpose of that is....To distract from the actual people facing oppression? A purposeful misdirection to doge criticism or talk about this instead of queer oppression?

I just find it interesting.


If you can in the comments leave an example of queerphobic violence or oppression you’ve faced. I think it might convince some people who are still undecided on this issue


TLDR: heterophobia doesn’t exist and frankly I’m tired of talking about it


(Thank you if you read all of this)

Hi again so basically I want to talk about how I have all these plot ideas and stuff so basically I'm someone who always thinks they can come up with decent plot ideas however I procrastinate and don't actually write
(Can skip the next paragraph)
So about 5 years ago I first got on wattpad and wanted to write (God I hate this time period) but I was an absolutely shit writer like writing was always my worst grade considering I made A's so I go through these times where I'm stuck on certain stuff and for the next about 2-3 years I would continue to try and write cringed fanfics and stories. Anyways when I was finally satisfied with my writing I didn't feel like writing anymore and I don't write fanfics anymore lmao


So basically I'm constantly getting these ideas for stories in my head but never actual write them and I've always thought about just making a story or something that just allows me to give ppl basic plots I mean there's one story that has been stuck in my head for 3 months (fantasy/isekai fan here) and a demon king would summon the hero before the humans can and I've created the beginning and a possible ending in my head. I've created different religions, Ideologies, and cultures that are inspired by different ones in my head so basically what I'm wanting to say is put down ideas you have and if you want to know more about my idea just let me know

I haven't been feeling...great. I'm not out of the closet and I can't bind, (I'm ftm) and every time I see my body, I have a breakdown and resort to self-harming.

I've developed an extreme paranoia of losing everyone I loved and I've been cutting back on eating, my anxiety and depression is going through the roof.

I had an anxiety attack a few hours ago and I almost had one again, I tried to take a bath and it was REALLY hot, I locked the door and sat there for an hour, hoping to get heat stroke and die, but instinct took over and I left the bathroom.

I've relapsed in self harm and I feel like nobody cares, I can't see a therapist and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Have you ever felt that way?

I don’t really know if its a childhood trauma cause my friends are telling me it isn’t so when i was a kid my mom and dad used to argue a lot to the point where they would throw plates at each other and break the tv, i was an only child so i was forced to stay at my grandparents house but they always tried to feed me expired food or sometimes food that i was allergic to so i was always at the hospital lmao I didn’t really have friends back then because i was bullied and i was force to be the “slave” of the popular girls way back in grade school and middle school and now looking back at it my childhood was really fucked up well atleast now i have mommy, daddy and grandparent issues lol


i now use manga , anime and fiction characters as a coping mechanism lmao

Did anybody else had childhood trauma or just me?

So I'm in my house alone bc my dad went out to the garage to smoke some of that good weed and I stayed inside doing homework. It's 6 pm and already pitch black here and I'm in my room with just the light of my phone and my computer and I started hearing footsteps around the house. Then it sounded like a woman was talking upstairs and I'm the only woman in the house bc my mom is at work. Mind you no one is in the house but me and my dad didn't leave the tv on and he took the dogs with him. And just as I was typing this, the voice stopped for a second and I got an overwhelming feeling of dread. And then I hear the voice right outside my door. I was fucking scared, like 2 yr old hiding under the blanket fucking scared. And then my dad came back inside and I paused writing this to tell him about it and he thought I was joking. Like, I was on the verge of tears because of how scared I was and he has the nerve to say I was joking. I hate this fucking house. We've had paranormal experiences before but never footsteps or voices

I don't know why but every time i sleep early i get so fucking mad at myself because i usually sleep around 1 or 3
Then i'd tell myself to just sleep late the next night

Tell me in details about the worst nightmare and the best dream you ever had! I'm always very fascinated by nightmares and dreams.

Don't be ashamed if you want to vent, you can do it here :)

I’ve always been insecure about my weight and my family doesn’t help, I’ve tried pills and working out, my next step is to just throw up or stop eating all together. I’m so tired of it I’ve tried so hard to love myself and accept the way I am but it so hard with the people I’m around.