Being Single

I'm a loner, can't say that i'm a exacly a loner since i'm not that introvert i have friends at home, but at school i'm always alone:< , senior highschool life for me is fuck up everybody is so fucking mean and i'm starting to think that maybe it's me even though i never done anything for them to act like that to me all i want is a cool, amazing and a happy senior high school life like those kdrama i watch but its really different! I'm an academic achiever but what's happening right now it's fucking affecting my performance! i hate it, i used to be able to recite without thinking anyones opinion whether my answers gonna be right or wrong instead i think of atleast i tried, but now???? it's so fuck up i cant even recite well, no i don't recite at all anymore because i'm so scared of their judgement! my quizzes? i use to top it all back then and whenever i got low score me and my friends will just laught it off, but now? all my quizzes are fucking low and when i see the result i will just think like damn i could've ace it if i study harder, but i cant even focus when im studying its so hard i'm losing interest in studying i just want a friend i just want to have a circle of friends i wish my junior high school friends are still my classmate! I missed them so much. All of this is so fucking draining it's sooo hard thats its affecting my mental health, i wasn't like this back then, what happened to me:<! This is not all but all i know is that theres a lot more i wanted to say but i cant find words that described this dumb feelings!