First Feeling Reading Yaoi

I'm having a mental breakdown about my ex and i can't find anything to smile about. please, make me smile, i really need it.

Okay so this is an answer to a question I saw on here, I wanted to answer it but I can't find it and have no idea how to look for it. It was about "what would you say to your lover right now" or something...So I'm gonna answer it here :)

I remember staying up all night to discuss with you. We'd discuss about how we'd meet eachother, how we'd go on 3 AM adventures...We even agreed on marrying eachother. I recall the conversations we had on how we'd live together, we'd talk about how we'd live in a cottage surrounded by woods, how we'd travel around the world...You made me feel happy, I made you feel happy. These were the best times of my life...But you stopped talking to me.

It's been 4 months, where did you go? Why did you leave me? Why weren't you here when I needed you the most? I missed you, really, I did. Ever since you've stopped speaking to me, I've had the worst times in my life. I have tried talking to you, but you've never responded. 9 weeks left on seen, I gave up on you. I'm sorry.

I convinced myself that my love for you had died down, I even tried getting with someone else, but they were never like you. You were my best option. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm so mad at you, you don't know how much you're hurting me...I want to tell you all this but I keep telling myself that maybe I fabricated this relationship, that you never loved me and only felt sorry for me. I never once asked you if you considered me your girlfriend, because I was scared of your response, I kept quiet. I kept quiet because I didn't want to be let down. I kept quiet because I didn't want to scare you. I kept quiet because I didn't want you to leave me.

I never told you about my mental health, never mentionned how my mental health was spiraling down, because I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be clingy.

I'm fustrated, I want to talk to you again but you won't even open my messages. Have I done something wrong? Did you get bored with me? Have you stopped caring about me? I hate you but I love. I miss you but I never want to see you again.

Like Ricky Montgomery said, "I'm Mr. Loverman and I miss my lover, man..."