help, please TT

i’m just too horny and nothing helps at all. yeah, i can read yaoi but i constantly feel the urge of having a real person beside me, and it upset me because i want it so bad but i really can’t. it’s not like i can ask the first person that pop up in my mind to fuck. i wouldn’t do that. i would do that with someone i really care about and that i can trust and at the moment i don’t really have a single person like that now. besides the fact that, although i’m know very very much about sex and how it works, how i do things, i never ever done anything. but i still want to fuck! it’s like inside me is living a slut, and i really feel bad about it because i want to feel good but i don’t want to be a bitch. it’s not like i’m so ugly that no one cares about me but.. yeah i might not be ugly but yeah, no one cares about me so much, so why would someone do anything with meee? please help me, i need advices. i want to break my entire room.

p.s. i really don’t understand this website at all TvT i feel like i’m 50 years old and usually i’m really intuitive and great with technology so i’m sorry if i’ve put this in the wrong place to ask