can someone help my english?? i just need to know! ;(

can you guys help my English?? I'm not very good at typing it and I often make mistakes. so, can someone help me?? anyways, here's the example:

It is regrettable that my grandiloquent verbosity has caused your grievance. You must understand that any effected vexation is entirely fortuitous on my part; your allegation as to the frivolity of my lexicon is entirely calumny. As I am not recalcitrant, obstreperous, nor pertinacious, I do not intend to become inimical. Rather, I will authenticate my full alacrity for the furtherance of a probable acquaintanceship. Henceforth, I shall communicate exclusively in the vernacular.