Making allowances, any thoughts?

So when I was reading through a manga, someone was having a go at the uke for never paying attention to the seme's troubles and feelings, I immediately mentally jumped to his defence with
'hey it's not his fault! He didn't mean to be a bit self absorbed, he was overwhelmed and confused about his own issues! Sometimes it's impossible to focus on other people!'
Well, you know, along those lines.

But that got me thinking, since I've been accused of ignoring my friend's issues when I was getting overwhelmed my own problems,
Can you be excused for that?
Does having your own issues give you a get out of jail free card?

My immediate answer is yes. You can be, I don't think it's fair for someone to be expected to juggle someone else's stuff when they're not given time to deal with their own.
But at the same time, it's not fair for the other person if they need you and you just can't be there for them. And I guess if you don't communicate well enough then it could seem like you don't care.
I just think it's an lose-lose situation.

If you were going through some stuff and needed someone's support, but they were too busy dealing with their own stuff, what would you do?
Would you make allowances?
Would you feel hurt?
Would you forgive them?




(If anyone is curious, for me it led to the loss of a close friend, and though I do feel bad for her and the whole situation, I don't regret my actions. I needed time to figure shit out and I'm glad I did, even if it led to more shit. The only thing I do regret was that I didn't tell her what I was going through, it wasn't an easy thing to talk about... but her not knowing made it easier for her to judge me... perhaps if I had... ╮(￣▽￣)╭)