just serious answers please

soooo i think i’m interested in light SM... but i’m actually both S
and M... but besides that, can someone more experienced in this
field give me some advice? i mean, i only have seen mangas about
it, and even if i knew all that there’s to know about it and even if i
had a boyfriend or a sex buddy i don’t think i would have the
courage to ask them to do something like SM... people who like SM are hard to find (at least around me) and usually the ones that are not into it thinks that SM is a sick perverted game so i would be scared that the other person thinks i’m perverted or something.. also, since i’m an S but at the same time an M, it’s even more hard to find a
guy who is a M, they would totally think i’m fucked up. so people,
just please give me some think of advice (￣∇￣") ╥﹏╥