you are a straight women in a heterosexual marriage
It’s 4:00 AM. Your alarm clock blasts, waking you up. “SHUT THAT SHIT OFF” your husband shouts. You scramble to shut it off and put on your largest bathrobe over your sexy lingerie (it’s cold and your husband doesn’t let you wear warm clothes to bed) to cook your husband a complete breakfast and lunch before both of you go to work.
You make an elaborate meal consisting of sunny side up eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. Then you make a heartfelt bento box lunch for you, your husband, and your kid, from scratch. At 5:30 am, you take a shower and do your hair and makeup. At 6:30 am you wake up the family. At breakfast your husband complains about having to take your child to school. “I am the breadwinner!” He exclaims. Your husband makes $100k a year and you make $60k, but often work longer hours. You start work at 8:00 sharp, and your husband at 9 with a flexible schedule. He has to take the kid to school, but not without a lot of complaining about how the breadwinner should not do more childcare because he is paying for your lifestyle.
Then you work. Both of you pay EXACTLY half of the expenses. Your husband is totally against gold diggers so he keeps a very tight record of who spends what to make sure it’s half.
He makes you pay for your own hair, skincare, gym, and makeup. But he expects you to always look your best. Unless you wear a full face of makeup every day and look like Kim Kardashian, he gets angry. He got you breast implants for your birthday last year.
When you get home, you get home late, at 6:30. Your husband goes out the door from home to the gym. “I’m going to train with Melody today” he proclaims, winking. Melody is 18 years old and looks like an Instagram thot.
Your husband loves to joke about how hot melody is.
At 8 pm, you have finished cooking shrimp gumbo. Your husband gets home. He grabs you, sweaty, and pulls at your muffin top while kissing you. “Maybe don’t eat like a land whale and you wouldn’t have this”. He then eats, and demands a blow job at the same time as he eats because it’s alpha.
Then you bathe your child and make sure he has everything ready for school tomorrow and wash all the dishes and vacuum. At 10:30 you are exhausted. You collapse into bed. Your husband watches TV and has a beer. He makes more money, so childcare isn’t his problem.
“You’re not wearing lingerie!!!!”! Your husband shouts. “You wear makeup for the men at work, but not for your husband”. You groggily change and brush your teeth. “Much better” he says. Then he winks and slaps you on the butt.
You go to sleep at 11 pm. Tomorrow you’’ll go back to the grind and wake up at 4 again.
