Can you give me some advices?

I got rejected by my crush that is a friend of mine too, and before we still be friend, but a couple of days ago I 'cut ties' with him, or more like saying goodbye. It was because I still love him and I got jealous whenever he talk all sweetly with another person. So I thought that it'll be good for my heart after saying goodbye to him. And yet I keep on saving some pictures of foods or a cat or even a game that he likes, thinking that I could send it to him later, before I realized that we're not contacting each other anymore.

I keep thinking on what we were talking about before, about how he's the only one who stays to be my penpal, about how he could stand to faces my selfishness and stupidness.

Right now he probably don't really care about my absence. He have so many friends, and I'm just one of his friend before. He didn't even stop me to go.

But now I need some advice, am I have to be shameless and say sorry to him and befriend with him again? Or just let him go?

Thank you (=・ω・=)