Do you have like a turning point in your life

I get wayy to attached to someone. idk if I have attachments issues or something like that. but my condition is already not in a Normal scale.

but then one day
I told myself that
"nobody really wants to hear your story or care about you, you dumb shit."
that's why I've been silent this whole year

is this toxic?
probably

well I mean it depends.

for me,
this works like a lucky charm

I've been expecting less from people,
keeping a safe distance
and really just not depending on someone else again

this made me feel way more safer.
I've used to be so anxious about my social life
like
what if my friends hate me?
what if they found out something about me that made them dislike me somehow
or not wanting to be my friend anymore

it's like
the closer I get to someone
the more I get anxious

sorry for messed up grammar