How to come out

So I am pansexual but I live in a christian family. My grandpa is a pastor and my family try to go to church every Sunday. I grew up in the church and grew up with being taught gay is wrong. I never heard my grandfather talk about gay people but since he is a pastor I feel he would say they are a sin. Going back to me I am pansexual or still trying to figure it out. I already told my best friend but to be honest I only told her cuz she is bisexual. Its not that I dont trust her its just I don't know how she would react. I want to tell all the people I'm close to but I dont know how. I want to tell my God sister who i known since birth but whenever I want to I just dont. I also want to tell people at my school but some of them are lowkey homophobic. This girl is bisexual and she tried to commit suicide because people would bully her for it same with my best friend she gets bullied for being bisexual. I want to express myself more and I wouldnt care what people think of me but im still scared. I want to tell my parents to but I can't. You know those type if people that aren't homophobic but are that's them. My mom has gay friends but doesn't like when I watch stuff like that. Example there is a gay couple on TV she'll make me stop watching the show. I think she isnt homophobic but doesn't want me to be that way I guess. My dad says the f slur everytime he sees something gay. I want to tell him he shouldn't do it because its not right but I'm pretty sure he won't listen to me. He also has gay friends but doesn't talk to them like that. It is very confusing. Anyway me and my parents already dont have a good relationship. My dad thinks there is something wrong with me and instead of trying to help me and sign me up for therapy he wants to put me in a psych ward. I already suffer from suicidal thoughts, depression and I think I have borderline personality disorders. I just dont know what to do. I really want to tell everybody but I'm scared. I feel like if I tell my friends they'll just say I'm doing it for attention knowing my situation but I'm not. I wanna now when is the right time. I also think my other friends that I'm really close to will be mad that I kept it from them this whole time. I just need advice please help.