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Sel-punishment. I need help.
Since 2 month, I started hurting myself to see bruises evolving on my skin. I cut little strings on my feet and beat my left arm with a hammer, so I could see those blue marks. But recently, I realised I tend to hurt my self whenever I do something wrong. Like I believed I lost my bus cards, I return my place upside-down to realise it was in my bag from the beginning. I felt like a big big idiot and hurt my hand. And today I lost a case in town. It had very important papers for school in. I'm really angry against me. I, again, hurt my self. It feels a little better afterward but... I think I need to talk about it. But I can't do it with my friends or family. So I though it would be easier with someone on mangago.
This might not help much but, here I go.
I used to not eat (starve myself, fasting, abstain) when I feel terrible, so that I could think that I feel terrible not because I did something wrong, but because I didn't eat. By starving myself, I found it easier to face the next day. Cause I'll feel so sick and bad that I could pass out anytime soon...... 1 reply
