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5 Question for fujoshis from a gay guy
Ok so I've seen a lot of comments here that either pique my interest, or just really annoy me as a gay man, and they are more often than not from straight women reading yaoi.
So, I was hoping people could answer some questions.
1) Why do a lot of fujoshis wish that they were gay men, it's really fucking hard to be a gay man. We don't just revolve around butt sex. Is it because of the difficulties of being a woman and dealing with straight men?
2) Why are fem characters in yaoi so looked down on and called stereotypes? I'm a fem gay man, I wear makeup,I have long hair etc, but I'm still a man. I am not a woman nor do I wish to be one.
3) Why are so many fujoshis obsessed with the uke - seme dynamic? Like fem and skinny automatically means uke and vice versa, and god forbid there be switches. Gay relationships are not like that IRL, and it irks me when people say it's gross.
4) Why do you personally read yaoi? Like I read it, but mostly AI, because there's so little gay media? To me it just feels a bit odd, and some obsess over it to the point that it's like when straight guys obsess over lesbian porn.
5) This isn't a question, so much as just asking people to please stop referring to IRL gay men and relationships as yaoi. We aren't porn for you.
Sorry if some of these probably sounded a bit aggressive, and tbh they are, because I'm getting frustrated with some repeated comments I see. Particularly about fem gay men.
1) personally I don't want to be a gay man but imo a lot of fujoshis want the dynamic gay men have, a more equal relationship and since you're both men you understand each other better and have a deeper connect. It also might be yaoi brain rot idk
2) I think people hate fem characters because they're so overused, tend to be annoying pushovers and a...... 2 reply
I'm a straight woman and I also asked myself almost all the same questions while reading comments on sites like this, specially the one where women desire to be gay man, like?? if thats not a fetishization I dont know what it is, it's honestly gross and weird, I think reading too much Yaoi content has rotted their brain.
A lot of women would like ...... 1 reply
I'll try to answer the best I can.
1/ As a bi woman. It's not like as if I disliked being a woman. I don't have any problem being a woman but sometimes, yeah, sometimes, being a woman sucks. It sucks when you have to deal with sexual heath. It sucks when contraception was made to be the sole responsibility of women (and before you ask, yeah, ther...... 1 reply
I am a self proclaimed fujoshi. But my definition of fujoshi is the Japanese version. That a fujoshi is just a woman who enjoys M/M stories. This whole "fujoshi's are terrible people who fetishize gay men" is an American concept. Yes, of course there are bad fujoshis who give the rest of us a bad name and reputation. But we are not all like that. ...... 1 reply
I don't know that I'd be considered a fujoshi exactly but I do consume a large amount of romance of all types and that includes yaoi.
I had a conversation about this with a friend once, and she mentioned that part of it stems from a very conservative culture where women are discouraged from seeing themselves sensually so it's easier to see men do...... reply
I’m non-binary and ace so this doesn’t really apply to me. But I’m glad someone said it! Also why do all the color series fall into these troupes??? reply
1. In my experience a lot of people who "want to be gay men"...were. A lot of my friends are trans and reading about gay relationships helped them work that out. It's sometimes easier to work out attraction before gender identity. I've also talked to nonbinary folk who saw some of the more androgynous characters and took inspiration.
2. I haven't...... reply
i don’t consider myself a fujoshi cuz it’s weird
1) i actually don’t know, but i have ‘experienced’ wanting to be a gay man before just for the likes of it ig, but it was just a thought that didn’t last very long.
2) when i read yaoi most of the time the women are like supporting characters, family, friends or exes of uke/seme. but i...... reply
