(I spent half an hour thinking a title but still I didn't write anything)

I'm really, really, curious about bondage. The ropes, the adrenaline, I'm going insane, I even look at stuff on websites, tutorials on how to tie the ropes, I'd love to experience everything. BUT, "what's the thing that made you write this?" you ask, well my boyfriend doesn't like this idea AT ALL.
Do you know how frustrating it is for me to hear him say "I would never tie you up or even do it blindfolded"? God damn it, Richard, sorry for my words but bondage stuff make me horny as fuck and I can't control my desire of being tied up in the bed and don't have any idea of what you're going to do with me. Ugh, even manhwas show a lot of it (like Momentum, BJ Alex, From Points of Three, etc) and IT HURTS, man, it hurts that I can't do that with him. I'm even embarrassed to admit how pervert I am, sheesh. The thing is, I do like him a lot, it's been a month since he confessed to me and a year since I like him. I wouldn't leave him because I can't please my desires of bondage...