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Fuck.
I got myself into a SHITTY situation. It was my fault but who cares?
My mom asked if I was interested in my high schools color guard, I didn’t really know what it was at the time so I asked her about it. She showed me a looooot of YouTube vids showing everyone waving the flags to music and marching around and stuff. Even though I said it looked fun, I didn’t want to do it at all. I told her that I’m not interested in doing any extracurriculars or anything, but they said you have to do SOMETHING, so I just went ahead with color guard. I had a little fun, but I hate it still. Due to the times we practice and the days we practice (super early to late afternoon or from late afternoon to super late at night), I barely get any sleep, and now I have to keep practicing and even though you can tell the coach that you want to quit, my mom won’t let me. So here I am, practicing at home for hours at a time, barely seeing my friends anymore, meeting almost every day, and doing something I don’t want to do. Im never doing this again after the season ends. Doing something I didn’t want to do ruined my summer, all because I did what my mom wanted instead of what I wanted. So, fuck.
I feel you my guy, I have a horrible time turning people down too, my mom especially, so I tend to go and do stuff I hate voluntarily if I think she wants me to. Today I went on a high ropes course and almost passed out I was so scared, I hated every second of it. So clearly I don't have a solution to give you, but if you ever want to talk about it...... reply