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SO IM BEING VILLAINIZED AND I NEED HELP
There's this junior guy I've known for about 5-6 months and he proposed to me a few days ago but I rejected it and now people are villainizing cuz I rejected a "good" guy. Well, he is a good guy no doubt but I absolutely hate it when people force themselves into someone's else's life or personal space. He would wait for me every day in front of my campus and would almost always be there whenever I'm hanging out with my friends and he would magically appear out of nowhere whenever I'm alone or in trouble. He is a good guy no doubt cuz his behaviour is really nice, he's friendly with everyone, he's kind and polite and has a good sense of humour. He brings me home-cooked meals and snacks often and accompanies me to my hostel. But guess what I didn't ask for all this and as a woman living in a country where we are constantly stalked, poisoned and brutally raped at nighttime, I can't help but be wary. He's way too nosy about what I'm doing or what I'm feeling, he's always around and I find it really suffocating cuz even my friends support his behaviour and would leave us alone. Even my gals arent this "caring". So during the time before the proposal, he was being overly nosy and clingy and "caring" and whatnot and I was at my limit. So when he proposed I straight up declined it. The tone I spoke in was kind of rude and pissy. and now everyone is mad at me cuz he's always been so kind. they're saying stuff like I'm gonna regret it later, that I'm on my high horse and I'm a bitch. and now I'm actually thinking will I really regret this later. Now I'm feeling really bad for being rude. what should I do? should I talk to him or should I clarify stuff to my friends? I'm stressed and I don't feel like going out anymore. I don't wanna see anybody now.
It's alright, pls don't feel bad about it!! Even if he's a good guy, it doesn't mean you have the obligation to accept his proposal. You had your reasons, and that's absolutely valid. If you can, you should clarify it to your friends, they'll understand.
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I just wanna say one thing immediately, you are not in the wrong. This situation honestly feels very grooming. Sure, he may appear in a positive light, because he hasn't done anything wrong and in fact has been quite nice to you, based on what you're saying. But, just because someone is nice to you, especially if you haven't asked for it, gives u n...... reply
You rejected him 'cuz he was being too close and not giving you the space you need. Hypothetically, if he gave you the space you want, would you be willing to say yes to going out?
1. If yes.
If the guy is as caring and understanding as you think of him, then tell him what made you upset, say what you need to and talk it out with him.
If he un...... reply
The fuck?? Proposed?? He's thinking far too ahead. Stalking you then proposed??? Where's the let's be friends?? Where's the let's get to know each other???
Did he know the steps to marriage??? isn't it like friends -> dating -> marriage?? I don't know but that's a red flag for me gurllll reply
good thing you said no. Seem like a really controlling guy. Also, the fact that you don't have any relationship with him, and just barely know him for like 5-6 months, but still proposed anyway seems kind of sus to me. And, you know that kind of behavior definitely says a lot of things about him -- that he is willing to push things far to the point...... reply
The fucker's a predator trying to act like prey (Trying to act like he's the nice guy but the moment when he confesses you and you rejected him next thing you know he's playing the victim card). Girl they are gaslighting you. Now I don't know you personally to judge whether you are a so called "villianess". But you ain't a bitch or a villain just b...... reply
