Pregnancy////

ok dont get any weird thoughts from the title.
Few weeks ago i noticed that my mum's stomach looked like that of someone pregnant, she was already on the rounder side...but it was veryyy different.
But like i obviously brushed it off.
Then i was going thru some stuff of hers and found a plastic bag which she kept shouting at me to put it down and i did BUT not without the seeing the content, the bag was kinda translucent so i could see it said "VITAMINS FOR PREGNANCY" and i was like wtf?! i mean whyyy....

but today...the worst thing happened...i saw the clear blue pregnancy test. When i tell u i was horrified (she didnt do the test yet) BUT i just wanted to cry.
Despite being only in her late 30s she has a veryyy bad health and is on medication 24/7. I just dont wanna see her pregnant i remember the last time she was pregnant with my younger sibling (im a middle child) and it was VERYYY unpleasant.
She's gone thru 3 pregnancies, every woman is different. Ik my friend who's my age that recently had a bby brother...but am i weird to think this as a worry?

It's not even that but what about financially? We are deffo not stable in so many ways than one.
ABORTION? i WISH...but its against our religion so sadly thats never been an option.

im not gonna deny that i feel lil anger towards my dad ngl.

I just wanna cry. And im crying while writing this, horrible thoughts did come to my mind. It was strange when today she told me "you can't even take care of your lil sister, what're you gonna do if im gone"

Im just tryna get my emotions out sorry. i just wanted to know if anyone ever felt like dat? sorry again.