Sorry, guys! During system maintenance, some functions like comment are unavailable.
I’m 21 and having a life crisis.
*warning: long rant/ vent* I’ve never once been in a relationship (or “talking”), never even kissed anyone and I can easily see myself at 30 in the same shoes unless I somehow change my personality. I’ve always had a high guard against people and been shy/quiet, especially around people I’ve found attractive or out of my league. At the end of the day it’s probably a self confidence issue and I’ve tried putting myself out there but that usually leads to me climbing deeper into my shell than I was before trying. I’m genuinely concerned about this because I do actually want a relationship, even a casual one that might not go anywhere- while I’m still young. I know I sound dramatic but I think being like this at my age isn’t exactly normal and my family especially has been pointing that out which might be why it’s at the front of my mind... I just don’t know, I’m tired of being alone but at the same time I don’t want to meet up with someone on some dating site and I don’t get out much because money and even transportation is an issue, I can’t even afford my own place right now and live with my parents. I should probably wait until my situation improves a bit but even then I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything if I find someone I like. Also everyone I know my age is experienced in these things and Im scared that I’ll get rejected off the bat for being a bad kisser or wanting to take things slowly since everyone I know my age is having sex or has been in relationships and know how to act... I’ve even been rejected a couple of times indirectly without me ever saying anything because I guess I made it obvious I liked them without meaning to... I just find crushes to be scary or stressful and I block myself off from them but I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make myself dateable.... or something? I feel like I should also point out I’m just average looking with what I believe to be a semi-normal personality, meaning I don’t see any major issues that would explain why I’m in this situation other than confidence and maybe coming off as distant or cold sometimes (I also have the fantastic skill of making things awkward)... I am biased but for now let’s go with the assumption my general personality isn’t complete shit and hear any possible solutions you guys can think of that would help me annnnd go~!
Girl/guy, I'm in a similar the same situation. I don't have answers for you, but maybe telling you my story can help you feel less lonely and hopeless.
I am 21, a girl, het, going to school, never have been in any sort of relationship and haven't had my first kiss either. I have good friends and healthy relationships, so I presume my personality ...... 2 reply
I probably won't be much help, but in my younger days I kinda felt a little like that. I wondered if there was something wrong with me, or if I was broken. It wasn't until college that I realized I was asexual and so my worries went away. I'm not saying that's your case, but at 21 I had no experience and over 10 years later I still don't.
Sometime...... reply
I feel ya sister!! Im 23 now with zero experience haha. I used to stress about it heaps - pressure to be in a relationship is massive from society in general. Honestly the best advice i could give is to not stress and let things take their time. Stats these days show people of our gen have lower rates of marriage, relationships, and take longer to ...... reply
Tbh I think that's normal with our society these days. There is nothing bad about not being in a relationship (insert never been in love by will jay). I myself have never been in a relationship and already in second year uni not that I'm looking though. I am not emotionally available to be in a relationship and I think I have commitment issues beca...... 2 reply
Okay, so I am in same situation as you. I am 20, I never dated anyone, neither did I have any crushes. I never did any kind of intimate stuff with anyone, and I don't think I will. What I would like to tell you is, this whole thing isn't a race. Just because others are doing it, and others are experienced, doesn't mean you have to do it. Everyone h...... reply
I too am in pretty much the exact same situation right now and have gone through the same worries in my mind. I’m really glad you put this question out there, since it’s comforting to see at least that I’m not the only one with this concern.
One advice I’ve heard, but have been too shy/scared to try myself yet (welp), is to be open-minded...... 1 reply
Well you don't know it but your already there! You just need 3 tricks. ( And you thought your post is long)
Let me explain: you are not insecure and don't have inferiority complex. You said it yourself. There's nothing wrong with you and your personality is not shit. Many who are introverted are insecure believing they aren't good enough and ...... reply
Shit it's like looking in a mirror, I'm also 21 and have never been in a relationship, of course theres no advice I can give since I'm just as stuck as you but we can at least take comfort in knowing we aren't alone, I going to try to become comfortable with myself first and then try to put myself out there, I'll probably have to try dating apps si...... reply
Im not so confident in my english skills so sorry if Im making myself not understandable kkkk.
Things arent black or white as well as people arent black or white. So, it is not like: if u dont have any experience now u are fated to be alone for the rest of your life. Enjoy your life! And be happy, sometimes we tend to dont notice, but there are alw...... reply
Okay, so i got my first girlfriend at 13. I remember being shy and always feeling a tad bit uncomfortable. We were into the same things and got along really well, but our relationship was almost entirely based online even though we met in school. I was much more bubbly and expressive through text and i even confessed to her through text. When we st...... reply
