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Constructive criticism: For dialogues, you can add something like “he gasped” , “he cried”, “he yelled” , if you add the same sentence (whatever you call it) it’ll seem bland. You can change the “his self” to “himself”. Your and you’re are two different things, with “your” you add it in a sentence like this: “your ......   1 reply
20 07,2021
TELL ME MORE THIS IS REALLY GOOD YOU ARE SO TALENTED I AM VERY INTERESTED IN THE STORY   1 reply
20 07,2021
grammar / the way you write in general could do with some changes but the story itself seems interesting enough to make me want some more.   1 reply
20 07,2021
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