Many thanks to the replies. Just wanna add that we do not have any bad blood as friends. In fact I would say I like her as a friend. I just don't like her as a roommate. I never knew these could be possible simultaneously but here we are. Sometimes you can't have it all, I guess.
In terms of setting boundaries, yes, I agree we should have prior to moving in together. However, I would like to add that as we lived together I do make clear boundaries about what I want (and if she said anything she wanted me to do, I will accommodate as best I can). I used to remind her not to do etc etc, and she will do as I remind her, then just subtly go back to her usual living style.
For example I told her to clean up after herself in the shower because I didn't like having to clean up after her (she clogs the drain with hair and slimy soapy residue I prefer not to touch). And I will also clean up after myself so she doesn't have to worry about the shower being dirty when she goes in. She said sorry, cleaned up after herself for a couple days, then slowly stopped.
I've since given up trying to tell her. If I've said it once or twice and it still goes ignored then I'm going to take that as a no, she's unwilling to. Because how hard is it to follow through the first few times, especially if it's about having decent bathroom etiquette. I'm not even asking for the moon here, just to clean up after ourselves and it feels like I'm overthinking. We've basically gone past setting up boundaries, since it goes ignored anyway and I'm tired of repeating myself.
I don't think this will break our friendship. She's not the type to fuss over something like this. She lives pretty freely (as noted by previous statements about her irresponsibilities). Plus we never planned to live together forever, just that we will live together. It just so happen our plans only worked for a year. I'd be surprised if she made this a big deal. We tried, it didn't work out. That's that. I hope to continue our friendship after I move out. And I'll let her know that.
The friendship has the best chance of staying strong because you are removing the cause of conflict and irritation. Just be sure to keep catching up and enjoying her company where you can. As time passes you will even look back with good memories of being together in the same house. It’s easier to find the humour in being so incompatible as roomi...... reply
