My opinion on rape as a writing tool in yaoi

So I have been reading a loooooot of yaoi for years and years. And now I’m much more exigeant than I used to be. And clearly I cannot read about rape anymore. I used to actually love it, then tolerate it and now I simply cannot stand it anymore. And it’s hard because there’s sooooooo many yaoi with rape in it. And it’s so frustrating but also kinda interesting. Like WHY is there 90% of yaoi with rape in it ?

So here’s what I actually think about it.

For me rape as a theme in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it’s treated well it can be quite a complex and interesting subject. But as I said, it’s a really complex subject that has to be treated well AND carefully. But in a looooooot of cases, rape is only used as a means to get the 2 characters together. I feel like the authors lacks in writing skills when they do that, cause they simply can’t create a great chemistry/bond or actually develop a romance between their two characters without them having sex. And since they so NEED to have sex to be able to develop their romance but they don’t have any chemistry (cause they need to have sex to have that), the author will simply use the “easy route”. By that, I mean one character will force the other into having intercourses so the author can finally develop their relationship through that. And to me this is the kind of romance that is soooo badly written. Cause they fall in love because of what exactly? Because “sex is actually so good…” and eventually their bodies are getting “used to them” and so they cannot continue their life without having sex with them anymore… and of course it cannot be anyone else than them… and since the sex is so good, the rapist will become “nicer” at some point (just because of the sex once again, and I’m not talking about the sex at the beginning but at the moment the other guy starts to actually really like it too), and since he’s nicer, the victim will obviously fall even more “in love”. So rape is just a way to make them have sex faster and easier and at no point it’s actually treated as rape because it was only supposed to be used as a “tool” for them to have sex and nothing else. So of course rape become insignificant. The goal was for them to have sex, because they simply cannot have a relationship if they don’t have sex. So how can they have sex (to develop their bond) if they cannot have sex (because of the lack of chemistry) ??? Well easy. You force the situation until it goes your way (so, until it actually becomes a romance and they finally have their chemistry and they finally are in love etc etc). Because sex is the roots of their relationship. I wonder how many BL couples wouldn’t have existed if they didn’t have sex at first? And I mean, it can actually be pretty much ok if the relationship is based on sex, there’s some yaoi that I’m reading where the sex is one of the foundations of the relationship and I absolutely love them !! The only important difference is when the author decides to use the “easy route”, so that they don’t have to actually think about how to put their characters into a situation where they’re having sex naturally without rushing it nor forcing it. Even though sex is important for the relationship, they had to have a little bit of chemistry at first, for them to WANT to have sex together to begin with OR a good enough reason for them to have sex. And when I say “good enough reason” I obviously don’t mean noncon nor dubcon since I have been saying that it is the easiest way to make 2 people with no bonds and no chemistry to sleep together, so there’s really no efforts to make. And so, since it’s such a pain in the ass to actually think about those things, many authors will simply make the ml rapes the mc until the mc likes it.

So yeah, now I know that rape is treated differently in yaoi. It’s not meant to be treated as rape but it’s just an easy way to develop a really badly and effortlessly written story.

I wonder if some people agree with me ?