is it normal to be envious of fictional characters?

I love reading. I truly do, it brings out the emotions hidden in me.

I don't want to reveal too much but basically, I don't have a good relationship with my parents. I read a manhua, the main character reconciling with their parents after actually talking it out. The main character forgave his parents. It's not the first time I cried because of scenes like these but this time, I didn't just cry, I also felt envious. How he's able to forgive them. I don't have it in me to forgive my parents for what they'd done. They lost my trust but seeing their reconciliation, I felt devastated. Why couldn't I do it? Why couldn't I forgive them too? But I know deep down, the difference in what the main character and i experienced are too big to even compare it to one another. It's understandable why I can't forgive them but I want to. But I can't. I just can't.

The main character also has a boyfriend and well, I don't have one. I don't mind that I'm not in a relationship at the moment but it felt really bittersweet for me. I want a connection like that too. A connection where they're there for each other.

I have about 4 close friends, 3 men and 1 women. They all know what I'm going through and they are there for me but it's not in that way. They never ask me if I'm okay but they listen to my rants.. but I know they're there for me.

I'm usually the one that asks if they're okay, I'm usually the therapist friend and I envy how they have a friend like me but maybe the problem also lies in me. I'm a very outgoing person so I do have a lot of friends but I don't open up that much. I just handpick who I open up to.

That's why I envy the main character's relationship. I think I'll only ever have someone worrying for me when they're my lover. I never felt like someone actually is worried for me. Most of the time, I feel like I'm just brushed off as. It's crazy out here.