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Don't you find life uninteresting?
I'm sooooo bored all the time. I always wish someone would die in my familly, or social services take me to a care home just so I can have something interesting happening. Obviously I would be upset if my family died, but it would be different and fun at the same time. To what extent are u guys bored?
I hate to say it, but I know how you feel. I think the strange desire for something bad to happen may be hiding a desire for something else, maybe something about yourself you haven't realized yet or a result of dissociation and a desire to actually, properly feel again.
Of course there's no guarantee that even if someone in your family died you'd...... reply
