Do you miss your ex-friends...?

Like you're just here wanting to make it up to them, wanting to be apart of their life again but this time you guys are better people and stuff. Just having fun and no stupid fights. Because I do like I don't want this to be a "learning experience" or "a chapter" I want it to be "we got through it together" but I can't ever have that because our fallout and everything after was so bad that I can never have reconcilation... Im like here still apollgising, wanting to update them and stuff but I look like some creepy weirdo ex. I want to speak with them as if that drama was just another nightmare. (￣へ￣）