Was there a time where you're so desperate for love, you'd do risky things for it?

Kinda having a hard time ignoring the fact I'm so lonely (romantically) in life rn. I have good friends, an ok relationship with my family, but you can't ignore the deep empty hole in your heart that wants you to have a special person?

I recently(?) broke up with my (online) bf, and it hurt me real bad mentally (broke up w him last year, june) and overall just made me seem like a horrible person by getting mad at him for every small inconvenience or some other way that I hurt him. Not only did I hurt him but my actions hurt me as well. I always thought "Why does it hurt so bad when i get mad at him?" I really don't know why I can't have a control button on my anger sometimes, especially when it's someone I care about.

Anyway, enough about him, I want to know why I just can't live without thinking of getting a partner soon just right after I broke up with my previous one. It's like I'm in a teenage boy's mind, after breaking up with my gf, i find a new one. I thought of doing online dating apps thinking I would get a bf there, but honestly I think im gonna end up talking to a p3do. I wanna be loved again, even if it's somewhat pretend, or just puppy love. I don't know what love really is, but I want to feel the warmth of it from a special someone who wouldn't hurt me and would be oh so patient with me and my stupid time-ticking bomb feelings. ( ´_ゝ`)