Part 2 of the cheating thing

My bf found out cus i forgot he was also in mggo sometimes and apparently been active in the forums these days and told me that he doesn't rlly consider it as cheating and more of the fact I got taken advantage of. He hugged me and told me it was alright and that he understands which made me cry cus I was so scared of it for so long and never opened up about it. He said sorry for making me feel like that that I felt like I should've been in a coercive relationship just cus i didnt wanna betray him. I promise to also drink responsibly from now on and take someone with me because I didn't realise the danger i would have in a bar. I know I'm a bad person for having said some shitty stuff to people in the past and what i went through is no excuse. I'm trying to get myself better from it by healing from my own traumas and accepting the fact I was just a victim and what my ex told me wasn't true.

I'm sorry if my story wasn't clear, it happened over a year ago and I tried to fill some gaps of the story as I've tried to block it from my memory bec I just wanted to spend the time with my bf both healthy as that's probably what my ex friends would have wanted for me. Thanks to people telling me I was indeed infact a victim, and to other ones telling me it was still cheating because the fact I still liked my ex while on a relationship. I've learned now to treat my bf better. He's already known that I still liked my ex since forever apparently but he didn't mind as he admitted maybe he pursued me too early. He forgaved me for alot of things too bec all he just wanted was for me to speak up to him abt these things.

I feel rlly guilty with how way too kind he is and supportive of me but in the same way I feel abit loved as a person more and I know my wrong doings and how much he absolutely deserves someone way better than me. Yet he's willing to try to help me become a better person telling me.
"3 years ago, you decided to hear me out and gave me a 2nd chance because you believed I had good in me. I want to do the same for you and get your spark back." honestly just cried after he said that to me and I still can't forget about it.