Sexuality struggles (for people still struggling/ed on theirs)

This is for the people who are still unsure, in denial, or are having a hard time coming to terms with their sexuality.

Have you ever felt that it would've been so much easier if the world isn't what it is? I know it's generally more accepted and supported now, but there's still a 'they're different from us with normal sexualities' connotation to it. I know this is such an awkward comparison but whenever I read fantasy stories in societies where it doesn't fucking matter who you love because it's all the same (apocalypse, omegaverse, wuxia, etc.), I just think, it would be so much easier if things were like that. If men and women could have biological kids all the same even if they're the same gender, if the gender of the person you loved doesn't really matter because love is love and we all die the same anyways, if nobody thinks about each other's gender when it comes to love.

I'm not homophobic, nor am I naive, I know it's possible to get surrogates, love whoever bc you gotta stand up for ursel yada yada etc, but I'm not looking for logic. I'm looking for people who are also struggling with the same feeling. I admire people who proudly act upon their feelings/sexualities, because I still struggle with the fact that people don't view it as 'natural' that the world didn't accept such things in the first place, that if I choose that path I'll face becoming an 'anomaly', that I won't be able to get the same biological joys as those people, that I won't be 'normal'.

I wish gender didn't matter, I wish things were equal, I wish we didn't have to lose anything just because we chose to love who we wanted to love.

Maybe then I'd still be able to accept myself, maybe then I'd be able to come to terms with it. I know that I probably am, but I don't want to be.