Complicated feelings about men as a girl

Ik this is relatable to a certain degree. I have always had complicated feelings about men, as friends, as a partner, just as a person. It’s fear, disgust, disappointment. Ik not all men r bad. But I meet bad men all the time and it just gets harder and harder to trust them. I also think men mature much later in their 20s compared to women. I have a lot of both male and female friends and this is just my opinion but I have heard a lot of men say it too. Even a close family member.
I rly wanna have a close male friend or even a boyfriend but these fears make me so uncomfortable and it’s such a big hurdle for me. And I don’t wanna say the wrong thing to them and hurt them so I just ended up keeping my distance. For context, this is the reason I have struggled to figure out if I’m just gay or I’m bisexual. I do find men attractive regardless so I think im bi in that matter.