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To those who’ve ‘lost’ their virginity:
What do you think about waiting till marriage? I’m a virgin and I’m turning 24 in a couple of weeks and have never had a partner. Initially I grew up in a religious household so ‘no sex before marriage!’ was kinda THE slogan for young girls and my parents were both strict on the ‘no dating during secondary school’ thing too. By the time I was eighteen and out of secondary school, I was too busy and quite uninterested in relationships. That was until my two closest friends up and lost theirs three years ago and I’ve hidden the fact that I haven’t lost mines either because I feel like I’d be ridiculed or whatever I guess? They both did say that they regret losing their virginity but I think it was more to do with the person they lost it to instead of the act itself. There’s no one in my life but I was online chatting with a man I might’ve liked a lot and the question of whether I was virgin came up so I was honest and said yes…. He asked ‘why?’ And I kind of didn’t have an answer? My default was always that I wanted to wait till married but deep down I don’t think that’s it really? But then again based on my friends experiences maybe that’s the way to go? On top of that I feel like men of my age bracket wouldn’t exactly want a woman that isn’t experienced or at least has had one experience because I’ve heard a lot that men find women that are virgins to be a ‘tedious lay’. I’m afraid that by the time I find someone that I love and want to be with that this little thing might hinder things?? Idk. I’m highkey afraid actually and I can’t ask my real friends for advice because they think I’m not a virgin anymore. My plan isn’t really a plan and I don’t think I have the guts to do it but what about the idea of just getting it out of the way with a stranger? I need some genuine advice and I’ve never felt so helpless in my fucking life.
Don’t just have sex just because you want to get rid of it. 1000% guaranteed way to have a first time you regret if not worse.
You just haven’t met or had the opportunity to have sex with someone you want to have sex with. It’s that simple.
Not going to lie, in this day you gotta put more effort into dating etc. So the most likely reason ...... 1 reply
OP, I too am still a virgin. Please don’t get pressured by societal norms to just do it, especially for “men.” If they think it’s “too tedious,” then good, filter them out that way. They ain’t gon be good down the line.
Also, that man asking if you still are and why is giving me the creeps but i might just be looking into it too muc...... reply
Not a definitive answer unfortunately but if u want to wait until marriage that's fine, if you don't that's also fine. A partner who's right for you will understand either way and be willing to go along with your personal comfort level of how soon you want to have sex and that you just haven't felt like it's right for you until that point (just do...... 1 reply
Your friends and peers shouldn't be your touchstone. What they're doing isn't necessarily what's gonna work for you. Despite the fact you were raised with your parents beliefs, your own personal beliefs, not theirs, is what should lead you. Their beliefs are guidelines, and not everyone believes the same, even in families. You should wait unt...... reply
dont lose ur virginity with someone u don’t see yourself having a future with, i know a few people who’ve lost their v card w their exes & they dont get upset w that, and ur friends shouldn’t be shaming u for being a virgin (assuming that they’re same age as u/20+) 2 reply
I was also on the same boat as you, thinking of doing it with a stranger to just get it out of the way to stop being a virgin but its really not worth it.
No one actually cares about virginity except people who are deeply insecure or people who are projecting their own insecurities on to you. I genuinely think telling your friends is the best opti...... reply
Another victim of the society expectations, if you're gonna have sex with someone because everyone's doing it, no original thought, there's 100% chance you will regret HARD. Do not do it, we're the same age. Do not do it because you're naive and want the experience like all everyone around, you're not missing out. Everyone has had made terrible dec...... reply
I’m still a virgin and I was raised with a similar mindset. Admittedly half the reason I’m a virgin is because I’m too socially anxious tho cough cough— but anyway my reply might be naïve. I’m at least somewhat confident in my answers because i like doing research about things like this. At the very least, here’s my thought process.
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I'm not one to talk cause i'm also a virgin and younger. An asexual at that lol. But don't feel like you'll be ridiculed bc ur a virgin isn't that shit so outdated?? Also I thought guys liked virgins? Idk man. I think you should give it when the times right not bc you feel like you need to or anything. No such thing as "getting it out of the way". ...... reply
