yearning crash out

it's been months this is pissing me off i can't stop yearning for that black haired, nerdy, and sweet boy HOW DO I STOP THIS FEELINGS it's suffocating and disrupted me daily to the point of i can't do shit anymore I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE FUCKING TIME everything reminds me of him and the nights we spent together deep talking and laughing to stupid brainrot chungus reels I MISS HIM HUAHUAHAHHEHEUUUEU he doesn't texted me anymore I MISS HIS DAILY GOOD MORNING/GOOD NIGHT TEXT why doesn't he do that anymore, what the hell happened to us why do we fell apart i don't understand this, don't leave me hanging and second-guessing like this, i wanted to reach out first so bad but my ego is so high it went through the space, i miss his stupid deep and gentle voice, patient and slow even when i'm being insufferable for not getting that simple math topic I MISS HIS LAUGH but i'm starting to forget how his laugh sounds like it's just been so long....this shit leave me wondering if this feelings i had for him is ever mutual, or it's just me picking his action and words apart thinking they meant something when it's not I LIKED HIM SO MUCH BUT IT'S TEARING ME APART