how do i understand if im a man or not;

its gonna be so ironic w my username buttttt ive been feeling rather unwell while thinking abt this topic;;;;; i’ve been out as an enby lesbian for 2 years now but nowadays i hate my blatantly feminine body and funny enough i feel gender dysphoria whenever i speak w my male friends
it seems obvious that i wanna be a man but some days i like my feminine body and i keep wondering if im feeling like this just because men have more freedom (esp in my age range) when it comes to daily life, making friends etc. i feel so jelaous :( i wanna be able to connect w people more freely i wanna do whatever i want more confidently without giving a reason ;(((((( i dont know if this is the right place but i couldnt rlly find anything that i can sympathize with and i dont have any trans male friend either