I'm scared

I don't know anywhere else to talk about this, As the temperature rose to 48° Celsius, the fires intensified significantly and nearly reached our house. The firefighters are doing their best, but the deaths of so many people scare me. I want to breathe fresh air, but opening the window will cause me to suffocate, and I haven't seen the sun for days because of the smoke.I live in the countryside, I rarely go out, but not being able to go out is not an option now, so it's confusing. And I think that's not the only reason for these bad feelings. I've lived my whole life believing I couldn't feel, which is normal for people who have lived in a somewhat closed environment. But recently I've reached the age of majority, so facing the world as someone who knows nothing is hard , especially that i failed in the most important exam in my life ( I've got 14,21/20) , so i'm not able to go to the college i wanted to , my parents were the most strict ever , that's why i know nothing about the world, and now there's just like " now you're old enough to change our lifes and buy us a house in a city " ( in this economy?! I don't think i'm even able to buy one for myself)
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧