queer media being seen as overbearing and annoying in shows

i remember some of my online ''friends'' talking about how queer experiences in shows and other media becomes annoying because it's like they have to let the world know they're queer when nobody cares and just wants to watch the show in peace.
it reminded me of how a friend of mine was taken revenge on by this other girl who outed her being a lesbian to her mom, dragging this situation to the principal and just humiliating her. she had to lie to everyone that she's not lesbian so rumors won't spread, i had to lie being straight too when people found out i was bi just so people won't turn their backs on me.
i think it's dumb to say that queerness is ''normalized enough'' when people are getting killed just for being queer.