i genuinly cannot fake shit

Im pentecostal and dude every time they try the praying over to people then they either cry or fall to the ground my ass wont budge like they done that to me loads of time and i just dont feel anything whats worse was during a youth camp that i attended this year they did just that to me and im the only one standing which was lowkey awkward for some reason and every time our pastor was preaching during camp i fall asleep midway which is fuckin embarrassing i fucking hate myself