i want a bf like children want pets

i want a bf bc 3 of my friends got a bf and one of my friends is on hinge and im so single but honestly i couldn't even care, i js sometimes feel fomo bc what exactly is so cool abt having a bf i wanna know lmao. i can get the charm behind wanting a bf but like, what would i gain? plus, i dont think men even love women. i feel i'm the same. i don't like men i js like how they look. i believe in this society an egalitarian hetero relationship is not really possible. i want to have a bf but i feel the experience would be disappointing :/
ps. this was js a rant lol. had a convo w my friend (she broke up and her ex keeps calling her randomly she's so sick of it lmao)