do you ever feel guilty for not being happy?

No need to read this to answer the question:
I accidentally said "when I'm rich i'll get this" to my dad whose pretty insecure about his financial situation. He got me them next day even though we do not have the money for it right now but it's too late to return them so the best I can do is be happy and grateful. I was trying really hard to make today a good day and stay happy because thats what my dad spent so much for and just a ton of little things kept getting in the way. I feel guilty that my dad spent a bunch on something to make me happy and it took only a few inconveniences to wear that down. I'm constantly fighting every second to be happy and have been trying to fake it till i make it for years but now i just feel like i'm acting like i'm happy. The only times i truly feel happy is lowkey when i'm reading a good bl and even then i'm cockblocked by the "this isn't real. you'll never be able to have a relationship like this" thoughts whenever i get too excited.