Tell me if how I feel is invalid
So, me and this guy has been talking for about three to four months. We call almost everyday, he's busy a lot during the day usually so we don't text 24/7 but we still text each other enough. We aren't dating, I like him, but I just don't wanna rush things, like I don't wanna date too soon then not work out, and i feel as if, if I start dating him, things will change because we won't be friends anymore and have that vibe anymore, you know? So I asked him how he felt about the idea of dating and how he felt about being with me and all he said was "it's ur choice", after I like, reworded what I said to where he'd understand what I was trying to say, he still said "it's ur choice", he didn't explain how he'd feel about being in a relationship about me or how he feels about me, I think he's the type of guy where he assumes you should know he feels that way and he doesn't have to tell you over and over. I don't know, it kinda bums me out, I don't want it to be my choice, I want us both to tell each other how we feel, does this make sense? If I sound stupid please let me know be honest completely with me
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Honestly I don't really like the fact that he left it up to you as to whether or not you guys should date. A man who leaves it up to the other person on the first damn stage isn't a person for you! That's also not to say that men should be the ones to be upfront about everything but I honestly don't think this could potentially be a relationship where YOU end up benefitting. Eventually if you do end up together he's going to be leaving you with the hard choices and end up blaming you. Sorry if I overstepped pls let me know.. ╥﹏╥
You didn't over step at allll, don't worry! I'm taking any advice I can get because I love hearing other people's takes and opinions, and I completely agree with you, I don't wanna end up in a situation like that and I feel as if ur right
Hey! Assuming that he doesn't like you would be wrong, if he spent those months talking to you/showing interest in you- it doesn't ultimately mean he likes you romantically but he definitely doesn't dislike you. Maybe he's the type of guy who hasn't had any experience with talking to women before, because I knew a dude who was sooo bad at expressing his feelings even though he liked that person. So I think what you need to do is just communicate! Tell him how you felt after hearing his answer, ask him how he feels, talking about such topics might deepen your connection with him :) Clear communication is the most important thing in any friendship/relationship. Don't be embarrassed about anything, your feelings are valid and no you don't sound stupid at all. Good luuuuuckk!!!! (●'◡'●)ﾉ
You don’t sound stupid, he does. Tell him you need to know how he feels. If he keeps saying “It’s your choice” or avoiding the conversation, then it’s either he does not want more from you or he’s terrible at communication— which is a whole other problem. If it’s the latter, you’re better off not in a relationship with him rather than trying to teach a man how to talk about feelings (This is from a mature standpoint, imo if you guys are 17 or younger I think there’s room for growth)
I think what you want to hear from him is conformation that he too likes you. We are in a somewhat same situation. But for me I didn't pursue the guy because if he doesn't have the capability to tell me what he truly feels then it just mean we are not meant for each other. Its not like being in a relationship is a one man team you know.
There is a possibility that he just wants you to be ready or the timing was not it.
But if you really want to pursue the guy, you should tell him what you feel first and tell him what kind of relationship you want.
And you are not stupid, if you are, then so am I!!
This is the way to go OP. Even if he does like you, do you REALLY want to be in a relationship where you have to do all the work - initiate, explain again, and still have him default to “yeah whatever’s fine, you choose”? It’ll be insufferable as hell
Ion think he likes u, judging by his response, im assuming he never thought of a life where he dates you. Express your feelings and disappointment and see where u can go from there. If a guy actually likes you he would put in the time and effort for you.
Hey this may be a little late but I think you shouldn’t go into the relationship if he’s not completely sure or decisive because I just find relationships where we both know what we want are just better in terms of communication ,understanding and respect. Yeah that’s my advice
I just posted this, don't worryy, and yeah I completely agree, I like it when people are straightforward with how they feel with me and I don't like being the one to mske decisions, I want both of us to make it but he said he doesn't like making choices
Honestly just talk it out! If he is the type to not communicate his feelings this can get really annoying but making him understand how u feel abt him and whether he feels the same or not is really important. U guys cannot read each other's mind so reassurance is a big thing in such cases I'm not an expert but sorting things out by both ppl will prolly be more effective than dwelling on this topic n overthinkng constantly.
I really do wanna talk it out, but I'm nervous. I don't wanna talk to much or sound confusing
You should try out typing the things you wanna talk about in your notes app, it helps a lot