I don’t know what to do with my life

So yea a know it’s a site to read but i genuinely have no friends and I’m so alone every day its the same and summer it’s almost over i rather die than go to school i don’t wanna think abt my future and i know here it’s not a place to vent but i really need this or I’m gonna blow My shi clean off I’m not a really good person bc i did some bad things in elementary school bit it genuinely haunt me every day when i try to sleep i keep rethinking and these embarrassing moments this and omg made me wanna blow my shi even more and i think I’m better off alone bc i hate everyone and everything 7th grade was hell i lost all my friends i was bullied for my skin color and my hair i started self harm and MOM SAW MY fucking arm and you know what i told her i was the cat Mind you I don’t even have a cat And i was at school and this and this girl in my class told me that a cat dont cut in straight lines like god forbid the stray cat wanna be Picaso so yea I just wanted to vent so feel free to vent to ദദ◝ ⩊ ◜.ᐟ i feel better now (●'◡'●)ﾉ