parentssss

idk how to even word this so it’s gonna be long looool
but does anyone feel like their parents love them because they are obligated to but do not like them as a person?

i’ve struggled with realising my mum loves me (barely tbh) but doesn’t like me,if i’m on the phone to her she sighs or makes loads of noise so i’ll go off the phone,she never gives me affection or comfort,i can call her crying and she tells me ‘your a grown woman’ if i ask for some affection…i’m 28 and have 5 other siblings who she would she dotes on(we are all grown btw) it’s just hard cos i need my mum the most atm,we lost my nana (her mum) 2yrs ago and me n her were super close like my nana was practically a parent to me,it was tragic& i can’t imagine the pain,my mum is feeling but god since then it’s like she hates me,if im sick i want my mum& i just get told ‘your always sick’ ‘what can i do’ like is it so hard to comfort your baby? i lost my nana too,i lost the person i called 8 times a day,the person who texted me every night&morning to say she loved me it’s not the same pain i know but i lost her too.

i’ve asked her about it i kinda had a whole melt down and spoke to her but she told me it was all in my head,that she loves me but doesn’t know how to be a mum to me since my nana died,which sorry that’s bullshit she can parent my other siblings&show them love and affection but not me? i would like to add i am not a difficult child. I have a lot of childhood trauma which is due to her choices in men,she also had me as a teenager so i think she has some resentment towards me because of that. i’m 28&childless where as she was 28 with 5 kids i think that might play apart if how she treats me to.

lol sorry long rant but i don’t have irl friends sorry guys