what is a 'good' family?

rant-ish story for the question:

I was on call with my sisters and we were kinda discussing true crime and crime shows, it somehow developed into speaking about the environment a killer grows into and how much the family affects his up bringing, and we dived into the topic of how we can define a 'good' family, I spoke once and it was to say that 'our family definitely isn't,' jokingly but my sister took it a little seriously and we started arguing what makes our family good

me and one of my sisters agree that our family can't be defined as good, as they have abused us both physically and mentally and they are not fit parents that neglected our needs for many years. but the other sister argued that they provided us with a 'normal life', so we asked her what do you define as a normal life and she said that they spend money on us, I told her that it's on basic needs, we lived in a home that on the outside did not lack anything, but if you look through the cracks of its members, you can see how much negligence went into each person. while living in that house, I was never ONCE taken to a dentist once in my life, I realize that many people don't go regularly, but 20 years of my life and not a single dentist doctor? when I visited one myself a few months ago, I was told my teeth were in such bad shape and there were a lot of gums damaged, we also discovered a tooth that was helf grown, it was something that bothered my for a while and I begged my mum to take me to the hospital but she kept refusing. they only took me to the hospital when I was on the verge of death [aka almost having a stroke.], I had to take things in my own hands and make the school take me to the hospital and contact my parents by showing my sickness in classes.

we kept going back and forth, in the end we just decided that we agree to disagree but I kind of just felt really off by it. this sister that was defending our family dynamic was, fortunately, the only one who was not abused or talked down to like me and my other family members, this is not to be-little her struggles but it's frustrating that she was saying that our family is healthy when its furthest from that. it's a matter of perspective but she did not consider how me and my other sisters felt as she was mentioning 'the good things' my parents did to us.


what do you think qualifies as a good family? is it something defined by their wealth and how they spend it on a child, or is it something about how they deal with problems, a mix of both or something completely related, please share your opinion with me !