Losing fat

I've been trying for MONTHS but I always over eat some kind of sugary or oily junk food during my calorie deficit and I hate it
I can stay consistent but I'm too impatient and expect results in like 3 weeks or else I overthink and wonder if there are hidden calories in what I eat so I'm not losing fat
I really really want a slim muscular bod but man I'm so bad at this, I want to lose 10-15 kgs/20-30 pounds but I lose the water weight, lose motivation, gain the water weight back, get motivation, lose water weight again and the cycle continues
I get so lazy and weightlifting is just not it for me..
What should I do?