Does anyone else feel that dull ache and emptiness after finishing a heavy manga/anime?

SPOILER ALERT FOR BANANA FISH (I tried to not give spoilers as best I could and only talk about my feelings but you might still be spoiled if you haven’t watched/read it)

I just spent 3 days watching Banana Fish and reading what little I could of the manga including Garden of Light and Angel Eyes. And I did not take it well, I lost my appetite in those 3 days. After I finished BF, I just felt numb with this dull ache in my chest and a feeling of deep emptiness. So I slept to alleviate some of the pain but when I woke up, I cried so hard, harder than I’ve ever had in years. And the catharsis felt sooooo healing. I have a long way to go before I can look at that particular photo in Garden of Light without hurting but that’s okay. Crying until my eyes were completely swollen is my first step to healing.

(This next part is more spoiler-y but I still tried my best)
I feel broken bc of everything that transpired in Banana Fish. I can understand why Ash did what he did in the end and it may have been the best choice for both Eiji and himself but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Garden of Light gave me the closure that I needed but in a way, it was even more painful than the end of Banana Fish. I’m just so broken right now bc of everything Ash went thru. The world failed Ash so hard over and over again and he was so strong but so broken inside. If I had met him myself, I would have done anything to take away all of his pain and all of his demons. It still kills me that I can’t do anything for him. And I can’t let go of everything just yet but I’m on my way to healing.